Ministry Blog

As of Oh six hundred thi morning my dreams of a Hollywood career became severely shattered. I was to take on a stand-in part in a relative nice little Hollywood project and me and the main character was really coming along. As of tomorrow morning I would start this newfound career, and I was making up plans for what to do the next 1 or 2 months in Hollywood, Los Angeles and California. This was possibly looking up to be the best ever! Epic! I was making plans, who to call and who to bring.

First day of trails and test-shoot was OK. We even had time for some drinks and planning off the record. Everything looked good. All the way up until this morning. ‘What happened?’ you might ask. I asked myself the same thing when the damn alarm-clock started beeping… A whole life just zapped out of reality. Someone down the line I must have left a dooppelganger body in another reality or something. Because this was REAL. It was not a dream. I’m not kidding you. It was life. It was live. And it was too good to be true… So, I’m back to square one. Back to the old drawing-board.

Oh well… I wouldn’t have had time, and I’m too old for that shit anyway… Damn, what a bust.

Ibland har jag kommit på mitt undermedvetna med att drömma på ett verkligt oväntat sätt, B-filmsdrömmar! Den här kategorin drömmar verkar vara baserade på gamla serietidningar som “X9″ och så vidare… Somliga gånger går dom dessutom i repris! Som om hjärnan bara kör lite förströelse för sig själv - eller ja, för mig alltså… Precis som i verkligheten sitter man (ja, ligger i det här fallet förstås) och hänger upp sig på detaljer och irriterar sig på logiska hål i handlingen. Häromsistens retade det mig så till den milda grad att jag till och med vaknade av det och bildligt talat svor för mig själv: “Men åååh! Så orealistiskt! Det där går ju inte…”

Tyvärr har minnet redan klingat av, så jag kan inte ge ett exempel… Det ligger precis utanför gränsen av minnet. Verkligen retligt…

Shocking news at the Ministry today! Saddam Hussein is dead - and it was not an accident which is likely to be the official cause of death.

The Ministry is located on an American Military Base and therefore we often see things that perhaps not always are for civilians eyes. Yesterday I was made aware that Saddam Hussein was kept prisoner on the same Military Base as the Ministry is located - in short I saw the man. I just happened to bump into him and was so flabbergasted at first that I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there and watched him as he strolled around on one of the runways at the base. There were plenty of personnel around him so he wasn’t on the run or anything. Amazed at the sight of one of the worlds most wanted men close by just made me astonished. But at the same time it felt alright since he now apparently was in custody.

I strolled away from the gathering of people and all of a sudden a loud “BANG” shook us all. It felt like my ears popped off at first and I turned to see what had happened. Saddam was gone! Everybody looked at each other and tried to locate him. But he was gone, vanished into thin air it first seemed. But after a few seconds it was apparent what just had happened. A “dent” in the tarmac showed were something just banged into the ground. This something just couldn’t be anything else but a shell from a Haubits or something equivalent… We are after all at a Military Base, so when something makes a loud bang and there’s a dent in the ground it’s apparent that it’s from some sort of a gun!

A moment later some idiot showed up with a big grin on his face. Some trigger-happy G.I. Joe in a white t-shirt, crew cut and boots and his green trousers. He just smiled and chuckled a bit. He had that kind of grin like the cat that swallowed the canary. “He just disappeared” he said and laughed some more. “Gaddam moron” I remember I thought. “Gaddam trigger-happy moron”.

What should happened now? My head started spinning and I tried to imagine hundred ways at the same time of how I should write a press release in the best possible way. Is the term “Stop the presses!”? or what!? This is a monster of a news!!! Some trigger-happy schmuck just wasted Saddam in broad daylight on a American Military Base with about 150 eye witnesses. I just couldn’t believe it and headed straight for my computer to start getting the news out.

But then it struck me… The Ministry isn’t located on any American Military Base… In fact I’ve never even been close to one. At least not that I know of. And Saddam Hussein was executed several months ago… I didn’t have to write any press release… I just woke up and realized I overslept like two hours… Oh man, what a strange dream! I wonder how this should be interpreted…

Already dead.